raccoons can learn how
to chew through bungee cords at
night when humans sleep

source, 16 servings, 200 calories
2 sticks vegan butter, 6 c rice krispies, 1/2 c cocoa, 1 bag vegan marshmallows
melt all but krispies, add krispies, press into parchment-lined 9×13 dish, cool & slice